Dear Dude,
Thanks for your email. I don't actually see a question in there, so I'm going to have to guess here. I think you are wondering how you can get control over your spending without going looney-tunes feeling stuck at home.
First of all, give yourself credit for the things you are doing well. I don't imagine that you are neglecting "all" of your responsibilities. If you were, you wouldn't likely have a computer on which you are emailing me about this very issue. You'd be in a cardboard box on 10th Avenue. You've got a job that pays you well. You probably have a car and a decent place to live. You may even have some friends who think you're alright. Think about the areas in your life where you're making good decisions, and recognize your accomplishments.
Second, it's important to understand that spending money can sometimes be like any other intoxicating activity (not to mention whether you are spending your money on actual intoxicants). You may be using spending in the same ways that people use drugs, alcohol, gambling, or overeating. Does it relieve your stress? Does it help you feel better, temporarily, about your inadequacies? Do you feel more powerful, or as though people like you more? You see, you aren't blowing your money "for no reason". There is definitely a reason. It feels awesome.
"So IssuesGirl, I'm a non-homeless spendaholic. How does this help me?"
I'm getting to that. In order to reduce your spending, I think you need to find alternative behaviors. Because right now you see the alternative as being bored, "just sit[ting] at home." And we both know that totally sucks. So figure out what else can you do with that spendy-time that would help you feel good, in a similar way. Find something(s) that help you feel less stressed, or more optimistic, or more social. And write it down somewhere. (If you need help with ideas, let me know. I promise, we poor people have fun all the time.)
Now, nothing will feel exactly like blowing a chunk of change on an evening out, so you also need to identify your reasons not to spend… That is, the reasons to SAVE. What motivation do you have to leave it in your bank account, when there's so much temporary fun to be had? Do you want to have a down-payment for a house? Take a trip to Fiji? Buy that killer Harley you've been dreaming about? Whatever works, Dude. Get yourself a vision for the future of that money. Oh yeah… write that down too. Put it on your fridge. No, wait… put it in your wallet.
Response? Comments? Have at it.
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