Dear Horny,
You’re wondering whether you are normal – it really depends on what you mean by “all the time”. If you mean many times a day, every day, so much so that it interferes with your normal life functioning, you might have a sexual compulsion disorder. You can take this screening test to get an idea, or see a professional therapist who can help.
But you might just be a woman who really likes to get it on, and there’s nothing wrong with that! Most guys I know wish they had a girlfriend like you. And yet, it seems it’s not just that your boyfriend can’t keep up with you, but that he stopped wanting to do it at all. Okay. I’m going to guess at a few different reasons why your man won’t give it up.
First of all, is he possibly having a problem with the, uh, functioning of his equipment? Some guys might be so mortified to admit this, they’d rather tell you they don’t wanna do it. If you think this might be the case, try to have a conversation with him about this, but do so very gently.
Another option: He’s getting his satisfaction some another way. I know, you don’t want to believe, or even think about this one. But it needs to be considered. Could there be another woman? Or, is he a secret porn addict? If he’s physically operational, he’s getting it somewhere… even if he’s just servicing himself.
Yet another option: Did something about you change? Sudden weight gain (it happens to the best of us)? Or, a bad haircut? I know, I’m reaching here…
We could speculate on endless reasons why he’s refusing sex. But it comes down to this: Sex is an integral part of a healthy committed relationship. If there’s no action for long periods of time, it usually means that there’s a bigger issue at stake (as long as there’s no medical reason, of course). Hopefully he’s willing to have a conversation about this and be honest with you about his reasons. Seeing a couples’ counselor, or even a sex therapist, can help facilitate the discussion.
Good luck, and I hope you get some soon!
Humbly yours,
Issuesgirl
