Dear Issuesgirl,  

I have an unmarried 17-year-old daughter who is pregnant and due in March - she is planning on keeping the baby and raising it with our help. Her "boyfriend" is basically removing himself from the situation...

Anyway - her friends have asked if they can give her a baby shower in February. Here are my questions -

1. Is it appropriate for an unwed teenager to have a baby shower?
2. If yes, should she invite all of my friends?
3. Should she invite the boyfriend's parents &/or relatives & friends?  

Thanks for your help.

Signed,

Grandma-to-be

 

 

 

Dear Grandma,

If there was ever someone who needed a baby shower, it's your daughter. Forget about what may or may not be “appropriate,” and let's think about what's best for this baby. Although on the surface it seems like just silly games and ooh-aahing over baby clothes, baby showers are one of the few ways in which women routinely come together to support one another in a time of celebration and need. Let's not take that away from your daughter, who is probably scared and overwhelmed, not to mention angry at the father for being extremely selfish and irresponsible. More importantly, we don't want to take it away from her unborn baby. Being still a teenager, and with no partner (boyfriend, etc.) to lean on for financial and emotional support, your daughter and her child need all the love and and support they can get. Kudos to you for stepping up to be an important part of this future child's life.  

As for who you invite, in my opinion it's up to your daughter and whoever is throwing the shower. If it were up to me, I'd say anyone that is willing to celebrate and support your daughter and her child is welcome.  

You still have time to think, discuss, and prepare. Hopefully things will become clearer and easier as the big day approaches. Best wishes!  

Humbly yours,

Issuesgirl